Our Only Time
Stories of Pregnancy/Infant Loss with Strategies for Health Professionals
Our Only Time was created to motivate, inspire and show appreciation for the health professionals who support parents through infertility and pregnancy/infant loss. Through heartfelt stories, families share the sacred time spent with their baby — whether in utero or after birth — and offer strategies that health professionals can integrate into their daily practice to best support the bereaved during this devastating time.
Through intimate stories and the suggested strategies, health professionals can better understand and support grieving parents. As a result, health professionals can best guide families through this experience, empowering them to have the least amount of regret and allowing for the greatest possibility of healing in their grief as they re-enter the world.
Through intimate stories and the suggested strategies, health professionals can better understand and support grieving parents. As a result, health professionals can best guide families through this experience, empowering them to have the least amount of regret and allowing for the greatest possibility of healing in their grief as they re-enter the world.
What others are saying:
“Every healthcare provider who works with expectant families should be required to read this book. Our Only Time is a perfect blend of resources - heartbreaking stories from loss families, side by side with practical and essential information for those who care for them.”
—KAYTEE FISHER, Registered Nurse and bereaved mother
“Our Only Time is a love letter to health professionals who work with parents whose babies have died. Written and edited by a mother who herself received quality bereavement care, this book doesn’t tell caregivers what to do, but rather, provides insight and modeling largely in the form of powerful narratives written by bereaved parents who were deeply touched by the kind words, small gestures, and caring intentions of their caregivers. Each story imparts a lesson on what grieving parents find comforting, meaningful, and beneficial. For midwives, nurses, physicians, technicians, counselors, therapists, chaplains, and social workers, this heartfelt book offers clarity and inspiration for offering the care that parents crave; care that fosters their coping, adjustment, and transformational healing."
—DEBORAH L. DAVIS, PhD
Developmental Psychologist & Writer, Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby and the blog: www.psychologytoday.com/blog/laugh-cry-live
“Our Only Time is a book of healing, hope and inspiration. As a nurse and a parent advocate, I am grateful for the powerful stories shared and the strategies offered for healthcare professionals. It truly is wonderful to be a part of a baby’s birth. When death comes with birth there is a need for a greater compassion and empathy, a validation of the baby and an acknowledgment of the pain of the loss. Our Only Time is a wonderful appreciation to the caring professionals that serve families with a true presence and a reminder of the things needed to allow a family to care for and love their baby during such a short time.”
—PATTI BUDNIK RN, BSN, CPLC Bereavement Care Manager, Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support
“Our Only Time is an exceptional resource for nurses as they guide parents through the unimaginable time of the loss of a child. As a labor and delivery nurse, it is difficult to know what to say or do to help. The personal stories on these pages share the heartache, but also the helpful actions that have made a difference in the darkest moments. Thank you, Amie, for your passion, for honoring the life of each of these little ones, and for showing us how to be a light in the darkness for our patients.”
—WENDY RHOADS, Registered Nurse
“In writing Our Only Time Amie Lands has created an inspiring and heartfelt resource for both grieving parents and dedicated professionals who support these special families. This books serves two needs and meets both components with success; for parents to understand what professionals need to support them and for professionals to understand the path that grieving parents walk. Thank you, Amie, for sharing your personal journey and for reaching out to all those impacted by baby loss.”
—CHERYL SALTER-ROBERTS, Co-Founder, Grief Counselor and Educator, H.E.A.R.T.S. Baby Loss Support Program, Baby Steps Walk to Remember, BriarPatch Family Life Education Centre
“Our Only Time is a powerful and important book that resonates with the voices of women for women and their families, voices spoken in requests to their health care providers. Amie Lands’ work continues to contribute to our understanding of pregnancy and infant loss, and to assist caring others help us integrate our losses into our lives in meaningful ways.”
—DEBORAH DAVIDSON, PhD, Associate Professor, editor and contributing author of The Tattoo Project: Commemorative Tattoos, Visual Culture, and the Digital Archive
“In Social Work practice, we strive to achieve the goals set out by the National Association of Social Workers’ Code of Ethics. We often refer to social work as ‘practice’, not ‘perfect’. Author, Amie Lands, offers Medical Social Workers the opportunity to deepen their practice through her heartfelt and practical book Our Only Time. It is impossible to fully prepare a practitioner to attend to the needs of families who have lost their baby because not only is the magnitude of pain they are feeling unfathomable to comprehend; moreover, each family will have their unique experience and process. As a Medical Social Worker, it is easy to feel completely overwhelmed and useless in a situation as heartbreaking, sensitive and consequently, of the utmost importance, as a family suffering under these circumstances. This is when the ego wants to do social work perfect and not practice. This seemingly insurmountable responsibility feels significantly more attainable thanks to the incredible series of stories Lands has compiled. Lands’ book is simultaneously heartbreaking and uplifting as she chronicles stories of loss, surrender, love, and hope. We will never be perfect in this, but in reading this, we practice.”
—CHLOE RUSCA DUNEGAN, Licensed Clinical Social Worker
“The strategies in this straightforward and heartfelt guide comes directly from parents who have survived the nightmare of losing a beloved child in pregnancy or soon after birth. These stories serve as a powerful reminder that every loss is different, as unique and individual as the people those children might have grown up to be.”
—MARGOT FINN, Ending a Wanted Pregnancy
—KAYTEE FISHER, Registered Nurse and bereaved mother
“Our Only Time is a love letter to health professionals who work with parents whose babies have died. Written and edited by a mother who herself received quality bereavement care, this book doesn’t tell caregivers what to do, but rather, provides insight and modeling largely in the form of powerful narratives written by bereaved parents who were deeply touched by the kind words, small gestures, and caring intentions of their caregivers. Each story imparts a lesson on what grieving parents find comforting, meaningful, and beneficial. For midwives, nurses, physicians, technicians, counselors, therapists, chaplains, and social workers, this heartfelt book offers clarity and inspiration for offering the care that parents crave; care that fosters their coping, adjustment, and transformational healing."
—DEBORAH L. DAVIS, PhD
Developmental Psychologist & Writer, Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby and the blog: www.psychologytoday.com/blog/laugh-cry-live
“Our Only Time is a book of healing, hope and inspiration. As a nurse and a parent advocate, I am grateful for the powerful stories shared and the strategies offered for healthcare professionals. It truly is wonderful to be a part of a baby’s birth. When death comes with birth there is a need for a greater compassion and empathy, a validation of the baby and an acknowledgment of the pain of the loss. Our Only Time is a wonderful appreciation to the caring professionals that serve families with a true presence and a reminder of the things needed to allow a family to care for and love their baby during such a short time.”
—PATTI BUDNIK RN, BSN, CPLC Bereavement Care Manager, Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support
“Our Only Time is an exceptional resource for nurses as they guide parents through the unimaginable time of the loss of a child. As a labor and delivery nurse, it is difficult to know what to say or do to help. The personal stories on these pages share the heartache, but also the helpful actions that have made a difference in the darkest moments. Thank you, Amie, for your passion, for honoring the life of each of these little ones, and for showing us how to be a light in the darkness for our patients.”
—WENDY RHOADS, Registered Nurse
“In writing Our Only Time Amie Lands has created an inspiring and heartfelt resource for both grieving parents and dedicated professionals who support these special families. This books serves two needs and meets both components with success; for parents to understand what professionals need to support them and for professionals to understand the path that grieving parents walk. Thank you, Amie, for sharing your personal journey and for reaching out to all those impacted by baby loss.”
—CHERYL SALTER-ROBERTS, Co-Founder, Grief Counselor and Educator, H.E.A.R.T.S. Baby Loss Support Program, Baby Steps Walk to Remember, BriarPatch Family Life Education Centre
“Our Only Time is a powerful and important book that resonates with the voices of women for women and their families, voices spoken in requests to their health care providers. Amie Lands’ work continues to contribute to our understanding of pregnancy and infant loss, and to assist caring others help us integrate our losses into our lives in meaningful ways.”
—DEBORAH DAVIDSON, PhD, Associate Professor, editor and contributing author of The Tattoo Project: Commemorative Tattoos, Visual Culture, and the Digital Archive
“In Social Work practice, we strive to achieve the goals set out by the National Association of Social Workers’ Code of Ethics. We often refer to social work as ‘practice’, not ‘perfect’. Author, Amie Lands, offers Medical Social Workers the opportunity to deepen their practice through her heartfelt and practical book Our Only Time. It is impossible to fully prepare a practitioner to attend to the needs of families who have lost their baby because not only is the magnitude of pain they are feeling unfathomable to comprehend; moreover, each family will have their unique experience and process. As a Medical Social Worker, it is easy to feel completely overwhelmed and useless in a situation as heartbreaking, sensitive and consequently, of the utmost importance, as a family suffering under these circumstances. This is when the ego wants to do social work perfect and not practice. This seemingly insurmountable responsibility feels significantly more attainable thanks to the incredible series of stories Lands has compiled. Lands’ book is simultaneously heartbreaking and uplifting as she chronicles stories of loss, surrender, love, and hope. We will never be perfect in this, but in reading this, we practice.”
—CHLOE RUSCA DUNEGAN, Licensed Clinical Social Worker
“The strategies in this straightforward and heartfelt guide comes directly from parents who have survived the nightmare of losing a beloved child in pregnancy or soon after birth. These stories serve as a powerful reminder that every loss is different, as unique and individual as the people those children might have grown up to be.”
—MARGOT FINN, Ending a Wanted Pregnancy