One of the first trips outside my home after the death of my daughter was to the bookstore. I didn’t believe I could survive without her and I needed to read about others who had come before me. I needed hope.
What I found was one book with one section about miscarriage. I felt defeated.
Websites like Still Standing did not yet exist and the deep dark depths of the internet did not provide the hope I was craving.
I felt lonelier than the lonely that I was already feeling. I just wanted someone to hold my hand, to tell me I could survive this pain, and to be an example of a life worth living.
A year later, Still Standing was created and I began to see a comraderie unlike any other. A place where we could share our babies, our stories, experiences, hopes, and fears. It was beautiful. We were guiding each other and holding hands as we walked this path that none of us would have chosen.
But what about the new moms and dads that didn’t know Still Standing (and all the other great resources) existed? How could we reach them?
In the meantime, I continued to get questions from other bereaved moms, asking the same questions trying to navigate this unknown journey of grief.
I began writing. I wrote answers to every question that I have asked and the questions that have been asked of me.
Will I survive this loss?
How do I share news with my friends/family?
What do I say when asked about my children?
What do I do with my milk?
How do I honor my baby?
What about anniversaries/birthdays/holidays?
How/When do I return to work?
Can I consider another pregnancy?
Will my relationship survive?
I quickly realized that I was creating the beginning of a book, one that I wished would have been handed to me before I left the hospital. This became a labor of love and I wrote as if speaking to my very dear friend. I wrote it to me, the mom who just learned the unfathomable truth that her baby would die. I wrote it, kindly, respectfully, lovingly yet direct.
The topics in this book are hard, things that "normal" parents will never have to consider-but we did and we do. Choices that we have had to make; autopsy, burials, funerals, thoughts that give any parent nightmares at night. But this is our reality and the reality for the parents who come after us. They need us, like we need each other. My intent is to share as many resources as possible so that each parent can find a community of support.
I wish this book was never needed. But, I hope that grieving families immediately receive this book so they never feel as lonely as I did 6 years ago. This book is my heart on paper, loving any parent who has the devastatingly need to read it.
Let's share resources:
I believe we should always share resources. If you're interested in a free preview of the book, Navigating the Unknown, click this link: bit.ly/NTUpreview Here you will gain access to the entire front of the book, the first 2 pages of every chapter, AND full access to the entire list of resource books and websites to support you. Let me know what you think. I am here to support you.
I am mama of three beautiful babes; two sons whom I have the privilege of raising and my daughter who lived for 33 sacred days.