We have had some really great days here at the house. Over the last few days we have laid on the grass with blanket and camera, taking pictures and enjoying the cool breeze on our faces, Chris and I taking turns as photographer, trying to capture every second, ingrain them in our memories, in our minds. We attempted a little more art & memory making, Ruthie Lou had other plans so we decided to let that one go for the day and try again when we were all feeling fresh! She really runs things!
The next day we brought in reinforcements and had time in the Art Room with the Child Life specialist. She is amazing and calm and we really needed an extra set of hands to help us with our plaster handprints. I came to realize that since Ruthie Lou loves her little fists, we forwent the "perfect" handprint idea and instead made fisted handprints! They are not traditional nor perfect but as i told Ruthie Lou early on in her little life, "Imperfections are what make us perfect" and I am learning that over and over here with Ruthie Lou, she continues to remind me everyday as I let go of my expectations of life. I am constantly reminded of letting preconceived notions go and as I learned many years ago, expectations lead to disappointment, it's okay to let things go once in a while!
We also had the amazing opportunity to work with a water therapist for Ruthie Lou and me. She met us in the oversized hot tub that is about 95 degrees and demonstrated how to move Ruthie Lou in the water and it was amazing! Ruthie Lou was so relaxed, she didn't squirm or wiggle, her little body just floated with only her head supported in the water. We had music playing and the lights dimmed, it was truly magical. Water is one of my most favorite places to be, it was so special to share those moments with Ruthie Lou. I just held her, floated her and stared at her precious little body so relaxed. I know it sounds crazy but staring at her felt like we lived a lifetime in those 30 minutes in the water. I was so lost in Ruthie Lou, she was in such peace & without seizures or pain, it was so special. Chris chose not to go in the water but got some great pictures from the side of the tub.
Yesterday, I woke up with Mastitis, again. It is amazing how your brain and body work together to tell you when things are not right. I have always believed when you have a strong body, you have a strong mind and when one falters, it can really bring you down. The mastitis brought me down yesterday for sure. I started having moments of sadness and anger and I know that is normal but it is NOT how I want to spend my days with Ruthie Lou, there will be plenty of time for that later. So, instead we just rested yesterday ALL DAY! Lots of naps and snuggling, recuperating to wake up feeling stronger and starting over today.
In the evening, sunset strolls have become our favorite routine and two nights ago we found a great place to sit next to the waterfall, where we could watch the hummingbirds and all the plants that surround the area. It's truly breathtaking here. Last night however I was so tired from feeling sick all day that Ruthie Lou and I both slept thru dinner AND the sunset on the couch! Clearly, we needed the rest!
And today, we woke up as we always do, feeling fortunate to share another day with our little angel. We are really just enjoying all the things families do when they bring their little one home.
I am mama of three beautiful babes; two sons whom I have the privilege of raising and my daughter who lived for 33 sacred days.