Ruthie Lou is having a VERY good day! The angels are looking out for her and her Grandmas Ruth and Lou are storming the heavens to get her healthy! She has spent most of the afternoon her eyes open and awake and watching her mama and dad! We have had the most amazing time watching our little angel check out her new world! We have had some serious conversations with her about strength, prayer and not listening to doctors. She is ready to show the world a miracle, I can feel it. I will probably write more later but I wanted to share with you and the world that YOUR PRAYERS ARE WORKING! I think we have every church denomination saying Ruthie Lou's name today and holding her up with hope and faith. What a blessing today has been, what an incredible blessing. Our hearts are full of indescribable & immense joy. THANK YOU!!!
In writing the most recent entry I forgot to add the most incredible thing that happened as the doctor was giving us the results from her lumbar puncture! Last night as I was pumping bedside, the doctor came over to relay the results of the lumbar puncture. He started by telling us all the diseases and such that they were testing for came back negative and we were immediately relieved. When he continued on about the abnormal chromosomes, our hearts fell to the floor and a numb feeling came over my entire body. Here I am pumping in the NICU next to my daughters bed, screens covering our little corner and a blanket draped over my front and all of a sudden the world stopped spinning as Chris and I are staring in disbelief...
Ruthie Lou opened her eyes!
We both jumped up tuned out the words of the dr and greeted our daughter for the very first time! It only lasted a minute or so but it could've been forever! As the dr was painting a potential bleak picture for us, Ruthie Lou chose THAT MOMENT to look at us! Now I know that newborns cannot see clearly but we are certain that she was looking for us! She was telling us not to listen to the drs, that she was there and she is strong. She is on 5 different anti-convulsants and somehow she had the strength to open her eyes for us. That is a miracle!
Then, today once again I was pumping bedside (always pumping!) and just as dad walked away she opened her eyes again! She seems to be choosing moments I am most inappropriate to be jumping up to see her more closely but she is one tough cookie! We keep telling her she is supposed to be resting but that little girl is a bit stubborn...Chris is certain she gets that from me! So...miracles and small victories. We got to look our daughter in the eyes, what a blessing.
Science is an incredible thing, but hope, faith and miracles are much more powerful. The spinal/lumbar puncture that the drs performed yesterday revealed a chromosomal abnormality which may (or may not) be the cause of Ruthie Lou's continued seizures. Typically, after the cooling treatment is complete and the baby is rewarmed, it should only take a few days for the seizures to "turn a corner" and the brain to relax. However, this is not happening for our little Ruthie Lou. So, the drs are continuing to run tests and adjust/readjust her seizure meds until they can find the cause or control the amount of seizure activity that she is having. At this point, the Internet is a frightful thing as it near always reveals the worst case scenarios so until Monday when we meet with the geneticist, we are trying to be patient to hear what exactly this means for our sweet little girl. This is one of the last things that a parent wants to hear about their sweet innocent precious little baby and so Chris and I have just been processing the potential what-ifs and unknowns of Ruthie Lou's & our future. We can't begin to wrap our heads around what any of this means, the lesson in this or the "why her, why us" thoughts that are on the forefront of our minds. And until we know more, all of the questionable unknowns are irrelevant.
One thing we do know for certain is Ruthie Lou CHOSE us. She chose us to be her parents and trusted that we would love, care and protect her unconditionally. We have all along believed that she was a miracle from the moment we knew we were pregnant with her. She was meant to be here, meant for us & we were meant for her.
So tomorrow, as many of you shared that she will be on your prayer lists or chains at church, we will be praying here along with you. No matter your denomination, convictions or beliefs, please pray that this abnormality is manageable. Pray that the geneticist, drs and nurses can shed light as to how to help our little angel. And please, please pray that the purpose Ruthie Lou was brought to us can be fulfilled, that she may be blessed with a wonderful healthy life surrounded by her friends and family who love and support her, no matter what this recent test result reveals. So once again, science is an incredible thing, but hope, faith and miracles are much more powerful.
I am mama of three beautiful babes; two sons whom I have the privilege of raising and my daughter who lived for 33 sacred days.